It seems like every time we read the news LGBTQ+ rights are under attack someplace. Yet, we always hear wonderful stories from queer people about how amazing the country, state, city, town, neighborhood, or cabin in the woods where they live really is.
This year’s IHS reading challenge will focus on books set in different parts of the world. We think it’s vital to show that sapphic people not only exist but are everywhere.
We also want to hear from authors and readers about where they live. If you’d like to share your experiences, click here for the interview form.
Today, K. Kenley is here to tell us about Ontario, Canada.
Where in the world will you be taking us today?
Ontario, Canada
Tell us in one sentence what’s so special about living in this place.
The town where I live is extremely queer friendly, in fact the mayor has an initiative with all businesses to give them “all our welcome here” signs for the windows, so queer people know what stores are extra safe for us.
How long have you lived there? Or, if you no longer live in this place, how long were you there and when did you leave?
I’ve lived in different parts of Ontario my whole life.
What is/was it like being a sapphic (or LGBTQ+) person living in this place?
It was much harder 10 years ago when I came out. I was one of the only people out in a small town that was not big on people being “different”. But over the years I’ve noticed a significant increase in acceptance of queer people here. Being in Canada has its advantages, for which I’m grateful every day. I can honestly say I have never felt unsafe because of my sexuality here, even back then. It is easier for someone like me who is a feminine looking woman, I have friends who’ve had a harder time than me because they don’t fit with societal norms. But none of them have shared that they’ve been concerned about their safety in the way we often see portrayed elsewhere.
What about living in this place gives you hope?
Canadians are often said to be kind and friendly, and we are. But we are also stubborn and we often hold on tightly to what we believe. This can be great, but it can also be detrimental. From 2020-2024 I had lost hope that Canadians would find kindness again. There was so much anger here, it was so bad I was honestly disappointed in us. Covid divided us, rather than bringing us together. During those 4 years, no one held doors open for each other, strangers stopped smiling at each other, small talk with strangers made them frustrated. All of the things I love about Canada seemed to be gone. In all honesty, I got angry too. Eventually, I decided that anger wasn’t gonna fix it, and I started smiling at strangers again even if they gave me weird looks. I held doors open for everyone I could, and I did my best to make everybody laugh, no matter where I was.
Piece by piece, I think we all were doing the same thing simultaneously. We all were finding our way back to ourselves after the separation and loneliness had taken over our lives. This gives me hope for the future because for years I thought I would never be able to joke with strangers or help others get their luggage of the baggage claim in an airport. All these little things mean the world to an extrovert like me. Now here we are, in 2026, helping each other, smiling at strangers and being kind Canadians again. If we can come back from that, we can do anything.
Are there any challenges to living in this place, either as a queer person or more generally?
There are definitely challenges. It’s not all love and hugs all the time. But I’ll take the occasional grumpy person and the car tires that always seem to get a nail in them every spring. Most of our challenges come down to cost of living and weather. Rather than people or queerness. Speaking of weather, our temperatures have been -30°C (-22°F). Which is a heck of a lot colder than we usually get.
Something I’m grateful for is that I have never had to worry about my safety (unless I pick the cheapest hotel I can find and the doors don’t even lock – terrifying). In other parts of Canada safety is a bigger concern than Ontario.
If you’re in Toronto, and you don’t go down dark alleys at night, always have a charged phone, stick to the queer friendly neighbourhoods, etc. then you’ll be fine. I have lived in multiple different towns and cities in Ontario my entire life and none of them have felt unsafe, but I am a feminine looking woman and that does make it easier to be unnoticed by people who could be quick to judge.
For someone who has never been there, what’s the one thing that they must see or do if visiting your area?
If you find yourself in Toronto go to Church Steet. It is the most pride-filled street ever. It’s like a balm to the soul. I also recommend going to a drag show on said Street.
What’s the one type of regional food and/or drink they absolutely must try?
Poutine, obviously.
Do you have a favorite local restaurant? What makes it special?
One of my favourite restaurants in Mississauga (right beside the Toronto Pearson Airport) is at Toronto airport Marriott hotel, the restaurant is called the Wayside Social. I normally am not a big fan of hotel food, especially as somebody with allergies, but this restaurant is so good! They’re also pretty accommodating with allergies too.
Meet K. Kenley
My name is Kayla, I write as K. Kenley. I grew up not liking reading, but when I found out sapphic books exist, that was a game changer for me. I love all animals, and have been told I “own a zoo”. I have a dog, cat, chinchilla, 2 crested geckos and a ball python. Other than the geckos, who will tolerate being held if they must, the others are all very cuddly. I know most people don’t like snakes, and to be honest I didn’t either until a year ago. When I started researching them, I realized there’s a difference between ball pythons and boa constrictors, which I never knew before. That difference is how I fell in love with ball pythons and now own Kai. He’s a rescue (he was surrendered to a local pet store after years of abuse) and he is truly the sweetest little guy ever.
A little about me personally, I have been out for 10 years now. But unlike a lot of people, my internal struggle surrounding my sexuality arrived after I came out rather than during/before. In the end I decided to become brutally honest with myself and it’s made my life so much better. It definitely wasn’t easy at first, but every day it gets even easier. For those who are curious (and who isn’t from time to time!) I identify as a demisexual lesbian. The demisexual part is something I first learned about a couple years ago and that made a lot of things make sense. The lesbian portion was how I identified when I first came out 10 years ago, funny how things come full circle. Oh and probably the most important thing about me is that I’m weird, and I really love that about myself.
