Get ready to learn more about the book The Submissive in this discussion with sapphic author Hildred Billings.
Join us for an exclusive peek behind the scenes as we quiz Hildred Billings about The Submissive, writing, reading, and more.
This book is part of the Insta-Love category in the 2024 IHS Reading Challenge.
Why did you write The Submissive?
The blunt answer: I rewrote an old M/F novel of mine, originally titled His Domination. The long answer going back to the original novel: When I wrote “The Billion Dollar Contract,” I knew side character (and Ethan’s ex-girlfriend) Monica desperately needed her own story and happy ending after everything she’s been through. What makes her feel so relevant to me almost ten years later is how she’s lived on through my sapphic novels as the sister-in-law to Eva Warren, my bestselling “book girlfriend.”
Who is your favorite character in the book?
Similar to my previous answer, it is definitely Monique (fka Monica.) She’s been dealt an extremely rough hand in life, after a childhood of poverty led her to the dream life as a billionaire’s girlfriend only for it to end in abusive and imprisonment in her own home. Getting to be there as she recollects herself, forges a new path, and cautiously opens herself up to love again only a year after her tumultuous breakout is a big reason why the book is only told from her point of view… because it’s less ABOUT love interest Helen, and more about Monique’s journey as a woman reclaiming who she is.
What was the biggest challenge writing this book?
Having to cut through Monique’s trauma and how she’s decided to deal with it privately while pressing on with her public life was an interesting (and challenging) nuance to balance. The thing about Monique is that she’s incredibly stubborn, and she knows her worth as a woman and as a sexual being. She’s not one to feel any guilt or shame about who she is, but there is always that niggling feeling in the back of her head that somehow her abusive relationship was her fault. When Helen comes along, it’s both invigorating and terrifying. Monique will always want to be in love, to serve, and to balance her life between her private lifestyle and her work. But how does one find the courage to move on so soon, let alone while so many other changes are happening at once?
That’s what I wanted to explore with Monique’s psyche and it definitely presented its own challenge in that regard. My own experiences with abusive relationships were VERY different in how they presented and how long they lasted, but the effect was the same. So, in that regard, I could really relate to Monique while writing her while also not wanting to face those own parts of myself. It was definitely a task of separating myself from my own character to complete the story in a timely manner.
How did you come up with the title for your book?
The original title “His Domination” was easily translated to “Her Submission” or the more confusing “Her Domination” but I had two issues. The first was that this new branding with old Cynthia Dane titles was trending toward “The ____” and, as in the original, I wanted to focus on Monique as the central figure and draw to the story. The other issue was that I’ve been wanting to write a proper sequel to His Domination for YEARS but time has not permitted. I’m planning on FINALLY writing it this year and have always intended for it to be titled “Her Submission.” Basically, I needed the titles to be clearly different, just like the covers are. It’s just branding and marketing all the way down, man. Plus, “The Submissive” is catchy, ain’t it?
Where do you usually write, and what do you need in your writing space to help you stay focused?
I am almost always out of the house. There are baristas in this town who have no idea what kind of scenes I’m writing (and some who probably DO know, the poor bastards.) Hell, I’m writing this answer from a Portland coffee shop right now. Being cooped up in my office or, worse, my apartment makes me feel like I’m about to burst out of my own skin. I need that separation of work and home that includes me leaving the house and then coming back at my own pace. It also helps me stay focused. If I know I’m going to be out for several hours (like I am today,) then I can take my time and meander my thoughts a bit. Other days I only get three or four hours, so that’s the time I have to sit down and write. I often write 3-5k words in a session, multiple times a week.
I always have my headphones on. I am almost always listening to J-pop, K-pop, Symphonic Metal or Electronic Music. The key is for it to not be in (distinguishable) English, otherwise I’ll be too distracted by the lyrics. It’s a lot easier for me to turn off my Japanese understanding while listening to J-pop then my native English skills, for example. But when I am listening to music, it has to be the same artist for the whole session. I often burn through whole discographies on Spotify in a day. That said, when most of your readers don’t listen to the music you do, it makes it awkward trying to recommend music to listen to while they’re reading. I wish everyone knew who Jolin Tsai was and why it’s imperative you listen to nothing but her while reading books like Don’t Let Go, but here we are. I’ve always gotta be weird about music.
(And because someone will inevitably want to know… right now I’m listening to LOVE SICK by Mai Kuraki.)
If you could spend a day with another popular author, whom would you choose?
I just want to sit down with Joseph Campbell, calmly ask him “Why?” and then probably grab him by the collar and scream “WHY?” in his face.
(He knows why.)
What’s your favorite writing snack or drink?
I’m a simple woman. Give me a Polar seltzer drink and some flavored black tea. I’ve also sampled almost every chocolate chip cookie in the Portland area if you want some recs.
How do you celebrate when you finish your book?
I start the next book. Well, okay. Maybe I take the night off and play Civilization VI for 12 hours until it’s 6am. But then we get right back into the next book. An author’s life never slows down.
What are three words that describe your personality?
Creative, Colorful, and Crime-adverse
(I just really wanted the three Cs. We’ll go with Crime-adverse.)
I don’t think creative needs much explanation, but I really am creative in a lot of areas of life. I’ve been known to go on tangents from things people have said, coming up with ridiculous (and quite frankly, let’s call them hilarious) situations and hypotheticals. I’m use to this greatly amusing people but some are not prepared for me to offer them an entirely alternate life for them to live in five minutes or less. I’ve had more than one person say “Gee, it’s almost like you’re a writer or something.” And I say yes. Because I am. How did you know?
I also love bright, bold and audacious colors that offend my grandmother’s sensibilities. While the OG Hildred went with dark blue and brown (seriously, why?) for everything, I’m trying to not make everything bright orange, pink, and pastel yellow. Maybe some pastel purple. Okay, light green is allowed too. I’ll even take sky blue. Just get the whole damn rainbow in my house. I live in Oregon and want to feel alive. It’s very gray outside.
And no, I will never be that friend who helps you hide a body. That sounds like physical work, anyway. There’s a reason I was always picked last in PE.
What is the most valuable piece of advice you’ve been given about writing, and by whom?
Just because there’s no particular market for a book, doesn’t mean it’s bad, or that you’re a bad writer. It just means not a lot of people are interested in that style and subject right now. Tastes are always changing. Writing to be read can be painful because, often, what you want to write doesn’t align with what your readers wants. That’s okay. That’s a part of balancing out this thing called life.
When you’re writing an emotional or difficult scene, how do you set the mood?
There is no mood setting. There is only coffee shop, laptop, and a plain drink. Or office, laptop, and even plainer drink. (Water? We’ve got tap water.) I have to be able to write any scene of any length in any environment, whether I want to or not. The trick is making it so not even I will know my mental state or environment when I’m rereading later. The same goes for my readers.
What do you do to get inside your character’s heads?
“Look, could you just go over here right now? I really need you to fall in love with this person. Could you do this particular sex act with this other person? My God, what is wrong with you? I asked you to do ONE thing and now you’re over here sobbing in your pillow because your mom said something mean.” That about sums it up. I’m their fed-up mom, they’re my idiot children. I may not be happy with what’s in their heads, but I’m always there, and they resent me for it.
If you could be mentored by a famous author (living or not), who would it be?
Joseph Campbell is in the room with me, isn’t he? Fine. But I’m gonna be a brat the whole time.
What author in your genre do you most admire, and why?
(Just so we’re clear, it is NOT Joseph Campbell. I’m just a firm believer of never meeting your heroes. So I’m only allowed to meet my not-heroes.)
I’ve always admired Jacqueline Carey for not only creating amazing stories that made me approach fantasy in a whole new way, but for just seemingly being a chill and fun human being, as per her social media. Also, hats off to her for creating the first hetero couple that I gave a serious f*** about in a book. That’s rad.
Do you feel bad putting your characters through the wringer?
LOL NO.
Look, if you want to be entertained as a reader, imagine how I feel as the writer! Ask my writer friends about my recent long and tortuous death of a main character. That was the most fun I had writing in like five years. If nothing else, it’s DIFFERENT.
What type of books do you enjoy reading the most?
I read a lot of slightly-historical Asian American (or just Asian) fiction. Particularly about the first and second generation immigrant experiences. I also have a big fondness for modern Chinese literature because I love how hopeful the endings are (compared to, say, Japanese literature). Even if everyone has been through the wringer, they came out of it with hope, not despair. I don’t need my books to have happy endings when I’m reading, but I do want a satisfying ending that suits the characters and what they have done in their lives. Some good people will be rewarded, some bad ones will get their comeuppance… but it’s not a guarantee, just like in life.
Just to give you an idea of what I mean, two of my insta-buy authors are Amy Tan and Lisa See. I’m reading “Lady Tan’s Circle of Women” right this moment. That’s my shit right there. The more about women and their relationships it is, the happier I am.
What books did you grow up reading?
I just really read way too much Anne McCaffrey. Why did this not bother my mother? My English teacher, who accepted my book reports on The Dragonriders of Pern? My God. It explains so much now. (If you know, you know.)
What books have you read more than once in your life?
That’s the thing: I almost never reread books, unless a lot of years have passed and most of the details have faded. I’m also an extremely slow reader so if I’m ever going to read other books, it has to be new to me ones. That said, I have reread books I read as a kid to see how I like them now. I still don’t understand His Dark Materials any better now than I was a kid, but that doesn’t’ stop my mind from being blown and going “yeah, I’m gonna write a book just like this.”
Have you ever thought you’d hate a book, but ended up loving it?
Hilariously, for as much as I just waxed poetic about Jacqueline Carey, it took a couple tries for me to get into the Kushiel series. At first, I was really put off by Phedre’s attitude and how self-centered she was. Then I kept pushing, because I liked the story otherwise, and realized that Phedre being a self-centered, kinda racially-supremacist waffle was the whole point. She was supposed to recognize that about herself as she grew older and finally had her “aha!” moment. Now she’s one of my favorite fictional characters ever.
